Israpundit
by Bill Levinson (originally posted in 2008)
Q: Why did Egypt get ten plagues while Israel got Palestinians?
A: Pharaoh got to choose first, Moses had to choose second.
The violent and irrational behavioral choices of the Palestinians, especially those in Hamas-controlled Gaza, suggests that the ten plagues of Egypt might indeed have been preferable to Palestinians.
(1) Water turned to blood. Given the Palestinian propensity for mindless violence toward one another as well as so-called infidels, nearby bodies of water tend to fill with blood as well.
(2) Frogs just croak, but Palestinians croak Israeli athletes at Munich, school children at Ma’alot, and senior citizens on the Achille Lauro.
(3) Lice or gnats; annoying, but far less so than Qassam rockets
(4) Flies. They tend to gather on the bodies of Palestinian lynching victims.
(5) Disease of livestock. Palestinians just kill every living thing in sight.
(6) Boils; definitely preferable to the injuries caused by Palestinian nail bombs, some of which are poisoned.
(7) Hail mixed with fire. There go those Qassam rockets again.
(8) Locusts destroy only what they eat, while Palestinians destroy even what they don’t eat. The ones in Gaza demolished synagogues that they could have used for housing or even mosques, along with greenhouses they could have used to raise food.
(9) Darkness. Candles or modern electric lights will fix that, but the darkness of ignorance that Palestinian schools deliberately propagate is a lot worse. While children around the world, even those in poor countries, learn reading, writing, and other skills that will help them in life, Palestinian children learn only irrational hatred of infidels and especially Jews. Role models like Farfur the Rat Imam teach violence and hatred, as opposed to simple math and reading skills that they might acquire from Sesame Street characters.
(10) Death of the first-born. Palestinian parents and teachers encourage all children, not just the first born, to be suicide bombers. Many Palestinian parents celebrate when their sons and daughters blow themselves up, in contrast to Egyptian parents who mourned their children’s deaths.
In summary, while this began as a tongue-in-cheek commentary, it might in fact be reasonable to conclude that, if one’s country must ever choose between the ten plagues of Egypt and Palestinians, take the ten plagues.
